I carry around a tiny lime-green bamboo notebook. It is a precious place where I frantically write down observations, quotes, thoughts, questions and creative ideas of all kinds, shapes and forms. I religiously carry it around, knowing that otherwise, those observations will forever be forgotten, forever be lost.
Flipping back through its pages takes me straight back to Rita Banerji's living room in Calcutta. I can read words softly spoken by Rita, author of "Sex and Power" to our film crew. Above the honks and horns and sirens and the whirring of her living room fan, Rita shared some of the complexities surrounding Indian daughter aversion (saying 'son preference' would be making light of the horrific situation). Just as we had seen it firsthand in cities and villages alike, from the moment of her birth, a daughter in India is seen as a financial liability, a disinvestment, a disposable, dehumanized object. Simplified, a boy equals "money in", whereas a girl "money out". With few exceptions and regardless of wealth, caste or geographic state, a female is at best second-class and at worst tortured or killed. Because she is a woman.
Here is an excerpt from Rita's book1: "The routine elimination of women from the population is perhaps one of the most depraved secrets that India conceals in its folds of democracy and traditionalism. Reports based on census studies estimate that at least 50 million females have been removed from India's population. There are villages in north India where the gender ratio has been reported to be as low as 31 women to 100 men. Government records also show that there are villages in Rajasthan where there have been no reports of the birth of girls for decades. The methods of elimination include female feticide, female infanticide, dowry murders and the death of pre-adolescent girls through willful neglect of nutrition and medical care."
I remember feeling the urgency to act as Rita spoke to us. I remember feeling embarrassment about the feminist movement in the West in the light of these real atrocities (If you dare, read more on the 50million Missing website). I remember feeling helpless as she struggled to identify even one group in India that was making a difference in this area. You ask why? Actually, one reason Western non-profits don't intervene is because challenging culture is simply not 'cool'.
In that moment, my lime green notebook was a witness to a colossal personal paradigm shift. I scribbled "it is okay to confront cultures". Never before had I considered challenging culture. As a Third Culture Kid, I regard cultural traditions very highly as part of the rich fabric of this world's diversity. However, just like foot-binding was eradicated over the past decade in China or may I bring it closer to home? Well, it's not much different to the Civil Rights movement in the US, Apartheid or the Jewish holocaust. At some point, the culture must be challenged, enforced by law, before there will ever be change. In the same way, honor killings, sati, female feticide, infanticide - these things must be challenged. In fact, it is our duty to do so. 'Challenged by whom?' is a whole other question..because of course, as outsiders, it's a little difficult to efficiently challenge a culture other than our own.
My notebook witnessed many experiences, flavors and scents on this second filming trip to India, far too many to write down here. But in my heart, and with a exploding fondness for this beautiful, diverse, colorful country of India, the simple statement in my notebook it is okay to confront cultures freed me to act, to be outraged, to tell, to somehow make a difference. This blog post will not be the end of that personal process. Hopefully the documentary film will be an instrument of change too. Watch this space.
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1"Sex and Power - Defining History, Shaping Societies" 2008: p307
